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“If you can have sex with an ex without any expectations, are emotionally ready, and do not have the warm and fuzzy feelings for them anymore, then it could be fun and enjoyable,” says Needle.
New York-based sex therapist Sari Cooper, founder and director of the Center for Love and Sex, agrees that timing has a lot to do with it.
Certain subjects can touch a nerve, and the awkwardness and pain that might follow aren't worth the momentary bliss of an orgasm. Cuddling can send the wrong message, says Needle, or cause one or both of you to feel an emotional attachment again.
Spooning, hand-holding, and even meaningful eye gazing after sex with your ex could lead to confusion or hurt.
Do not hook up with your ex if you’re not 100% over the relationship.
And if you aren't sure you're over it, never use sex to test how you feel—you risk of confusing both parties and opening up an old wound.
“If the sex itself was always great and this is the hardest part of giving up the relationship, it’s not a good idea to go back just for the sex if it hinders your moving on to new healthier relationship,” says Cooper.