I got to know – or as much as possible online – a couple of regular men, with whom I conducted tentative conversations that were thoughtful and sweet, and that only developed into something more suggestive after much respective vetting and, on my part, several glasses of red wine. That initial separation, I later learned, all but ensured I would never be able to successfully bond with her.I'm in my mid-40s now, and our relationship remains every bit as complicated today.An example of a valid reason would be that his time in the chat room cuts into family time. Listen to his reasons without interrupting or accusing.
He was by far the best of the bunch, a kind and generous man, but someone who could also be selfish and unfeeling.
We had agreed, early on in our relationship, that we wouldn't have children. Several friends, however, were convinced that our lack of children created a vacuum.
I met all sorts of people, from all over the world, older and younger, and each seemingly as desperate for a true connection as I. Should I be blaming my mother, or my – mostly absent – father for feeling that something was eternally missing? I was born to a woman that didn't much want children, and who fell foul to postnatal depression a good couple of decades before the term was even coined.
And for a while at least, it all felt harmless and innocent, and fun. My father leaving didn't help, and for the first six months of my life I was placed with a notional "auntie", a family friend who became my surrogate mother throughout my childhood.
Rationally talk about what he enjoys about Internet chat rooms.
For example, if he just likes the socialization, offer to create a user name for yourself and join him in the chat room. If he doesn't listen to you, take a break from the conversation. Start the conversation out slowly, and then make your points in a direct, firm way. Seek outside help if the problem increases or he continues to not listen.
If your husband is a frequent chat room user and you don't like it, take steps to solve the issue.
Tell your husband why it bothers you that he uses Internet chat rooms. For example, if you don't like that it is a singles room, tell him that you do not like it because he is married. Stating that you don't want him to talk to people you don't know isn't a valid reason.
When the time was right for both of us, we would work through our problems and come back to one another. I shed my regulars and concentrated on just one, a man younger than me by almost two decades.
And it was harmless, until I fell in too deep and wanted more than his messages.
There were redundancy problems at work; my marriage was showing strains; and there was something large and unnameable missing from my life.