After 10 years in various poly relationships, I've learned a lot of things; many of which would have made a big difference in how I approached this lifestyle if I'd known them when I was still a poly newbie.
If you're a poly couple, planning your dates away from your primary partner on the same night can help ward off lonely feelings or worrying about the partner left home.
Just offering to share a calendar with a partner can help assure them you're genuine in your desire to maintain open communication and honesty -- which can go a long way in establishing trust in your polyamorous relationships.
It's really a wonderful situation when everyone can hang out and play Cards Against Humanity together.
You may not be attracted to your partner's metamour, but accepting him or her as your partner's partner and maintaining a cordial -- if not friendly -- relationship makes everything a lot less sticky.
But it takes a lot of stamina and emotional maturity to smile and be polite with someone that you don't have friendly feelings toward.
Some partners negotiate "veto rights," where partners agree not to date anyone their partner "vetoes." Other poly people don't appreciate these kinds of restrictions. Regardless of how you choose to manage your metamours, it's something to discuss with your partners well before the situation presents itself, when everyone is feeling secure, and there is no New Relationship Energy to contend with.
But on Tuesday morning, you still have multiple relationships to maintain with multiple humans with multiple real-life feelings.
Polyamorous relationships can be astonishingly fulfilling, exciting, and fun. There's no one-size-fits-all for figuring out whom -- and how -- to love.
The best way I have found to deal with my own jealousy is to spend time with the person I'm jealous of.
They are usually way less threatening and monstrous than I make them out to be in my head.
And according to some recent studies, children in polyamorous families spend less time in daycare, and have a wider variety of interests and hobbies just from having more people in the household.